Sadie and I are absolutely exhausted! I took Sadie for her first Hydrotherapy yesterday and it was a real experience for us both.  I found it tougher than I'd imagined.  I'd gone along feeling quite excited but as we arrived at the Park Lane School in Macclesfield (a superb facility!) I started to get a bit nervous.  Seeing the other children with disabilities at the school and taking in my surroundings really hit home to me that this is how things will be if we are lucky enough for Sadie to survive a while.

I'm so grateful that such facilities exist and that there are such kind people there to support us but I just sometimes feel that this is not at all how Drew and I expected we'd be spending time with our baby.  Its a far cry from the dreams we had but there's no point and no time to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves.  We are lucky to have our daughter and everything else is irrelevant. Well, just as I was starting to feel overwhelmed whilst Sadie and I sat in reception, Sadie woke up and began smiling chatting away in her own special language and I just remembered how tough she is and how much she needs me to be strong and to enjoy our time together.  Even if it's not how I'd planned it.  Sadie always cheers me up.

So off we went to the pool.  Its in a really warm room (sauna-hot) and Sadie seemed happy in her little pink frilly swimming pants (she also looked super cute!).  We got in the pool and sang a few nursery rhymes whilst doing things like raising the babies in the air, splashing them in the water and playing ball.  Later, some disco lights came on and the Black-eyed Peas joined us on the sound system. It was really good fun and Sadie seemed pretty enchanted with all the bright colours, the warm water and the other kids.

Sadie loves water but she tired pretty quickly and (as many mums will relate to) I had the joy of trying to calm a screaming baby whilst getting her and myself dried and dressed.  Needless to say I drove home rather soggy!  Sadie chilled out on the way home and enjoyed a big sleep and lots of cuddles at home.

I on the other hand felt pretty frazzled and a bit emotional truth-be-told so Drew poured me a couple of G&Ts!

We'll be going to Hydro again as on the whole I thought it was a success and I want to give Sadie every opportunity to develop and enjoy herself.  I also really enjoyed meeting the 2 other mums and their little daughters.  I got chatting to one of the mums a bit. Her daughter, Grace has Downs Syndrome along with some heart problems and she seemed to recognise my anxiety over attending for the first time and over coming to terms with whats what.  Its good to see how other people get on as its really encouraging.  I really want to be the mum that Sadie needs me to be but it just takes a lot of adjusting and lots of strength.  I'll get there, I know.

Drew had a lovely evening I think - his new herbs have started sprouting (he's very proud) so he took Sadie for a wander (he loves doing that) around the garden.  She really seems to love trees and was reaching out to touch the Oak tree with enthusiasm!

Sadie and I are chilling out today.  Sadie's snoring away and catching up on some rest so I'll try to get some things done.